All the stuff I’m mucho grateful for this week . . .

• friends who make me want to be better  – physically, creatively, socially, mentally – are there more ways?
• love – I probably don’t say it enough, but I am given lots of it, and I hope I give enough in return
• knitting – that fluorescent featherweight cardigan has GOT to be almost done!  I’m knitting it everywhere I go.
• brain food – that City Symposium gold just keeps getting better.  All that talking and performing gives me a buzz.  I literally sit in the audience and my skin tingles.  That sort of sounds weird, but I can’t think of any other words to describe how it feels.  There’s a crazy energy there that is crazy positive  and awesome.  If you haven’t been yet, there are two events in March, so double the fun.   And if you haven’t signed up for the next Ignite London, get on it.  It’s free too.  On March 14.   If you’re wondering if it’s worth your time, watch the videos.
• music that makes me tap my fingers and hum under my breath – don’t you love discovering music new to you?  I’m sure I’m always the last on to something, but I don’t care,  I’ll jump on someone else’s train anytime.
• scarves – I’ve been loving these from afar.  I bought one for my dear Thien for her birthday, and in a wee mishap I got one too!
• home – in an attempt to hold a zero percent tax increase, our city would like to cut a million dollars that was committed to a reserve fund for housing.   I’d rather pay a couple extra dollars a month to make sure everyone has a roof over their head.   I’m very lucky to have my little home (albeit a mortgage too) and a livable wage to pay said mortgage.

What have we learned from this exercise?

• We go through a lot of toilet paper.
• At some point, we got so bored that we started to play with our toilet paper tubes.
• I spend probably too much time on pinterest.
• We would  make good toy maker pioneers.
• It is not easy to draw on a round surface.
• Owls eventually become dogs and spotted eggs and dogs holding on to spotted eggs.

16 years ago today I was the most scared and happy that I’ve ever been in my life.    She was so tiny – 5 lbs 2oz.    While she slept, I finished knitting her baby blanket – my first ever knitting project (ironically, I wouldn’t pick up knitting needles again for another eight years).   The next day the doctors would whisk her away to the neonatal intensive care unit for the next two weeks.   One of her lobes was slowly and unexplainedly expanding, and her tiny heart was in danger of being squeezed to the point it would stop beating.   The doctors couldn’t tell us why it was happening or how long she had, but  we were able to take her home for two weeks while we waited for the surgery.   I was only 20, and I was suddenly handing my month-old baby over to surgeons to cut her open and remove part of her lung.   I know what it’s like to be so sad that you can’t speak, you can’t stand, you can’t leave, you can’t hear, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and you can’t breathe.   The nurses made me go home on the last bus every night, and I would take the first bus out each morning to return.   It must have been hours of sitting around watching her get stronger each day, asking the nurses if I could just hold her a bit longer, and waiting to talk to a doctor to find out what was happening.   There was nothing for me to do but wait and watch.   I was still scared when they told me we could take her home a week after the operation.   She surprised everyone by her resilience.   The kid was practically off baby tylenol a day or two into the second week.    Months later, you’d never know she was missing a lobe.  I remember thinking that she was a champ, that every scratch from here on in would be nothing compared to what she had endured.   I swore that that surgery would be the worst thing that would ever happen to her – that she had gotten the tough stuff over first, and from here on in it would be unicorns and rainbows.    Who was I kidding?  Although it’s never been as difficult and painful as those first few weeks,  we’ve gone through a lot.   She made me a mother.  She made me want to be a better person.  For her.   I’m always groaning about parenting a teenager, but maybe I’m upset that it’s all going way too fast.   And I don’t care what anyone says.  It’s easier to protect a little baby than a smart and beautiful teenager any day.   I kid you not – the boys line up.   And I still feel helpless.    I guess I’ll just have to hang in and be there.   Some things never change.   Happy birthday, Ellabella.

I’m blogging over at the Goodwill today!   It’s a new year and a new sport.

It’s been non-stop knitting here.   I knit these two matching neck warmers on Christmas Day and Boxing Day.  I like that they make the plain grey wool pop.

The details are all on ravelry here.  The pattern was very easy to memorize.

Not only did I finish a cardigan over the holidays, but I also cast on AND cast off an entire cardigan in one week.   I feel like this is becoming a bit of a tradition.   I knit an entire sweater for the Bumblebee in two days during Christmas 2010.   I amaze myself.   It is hard not to imagine what I could do if I didn’t have kids, a job, a mortgage, dishes, laundry . . . heck, any commitments!  I’d be a machine.

Pattern: Drops 113-17
Yarn, needles, modifications on Ravelry

PS.  You will notice that the lower half of the cardigan is much darker than the top half as well as the sleeves.  Every ball was a different dye lot.   I clearly can not resist wool that is deeply discounted, and there is always a reason that they are practically paying you to take the wool.  I foresee lots of lounging around at home in this cardigan, and it’s quite possible that it never gets to leave the house ever.   But it fits.  And it’s warm.

$5 sled from the neighbourhood store + snow = an afternoon well spent

This sweet girl’s happiness in the simple things grounds me every day.   She’s the push I need to let loose and let go.   Have some fun.  Get up and get out.  Nothing fancy.  No rules.   Just follow her.  Let her take the lead, and we’ll never go wrong.  Breathe in the fresh air.   Leave a snow angel in your tracks.  Fly down the hill.   Laugh until it hurts.  The laundry and dishes will wait.   Be nine again.

The cat always looks growl-y to me.   It’s as if she owns the place.

I love this cardigan.  I started it in the fall, and it knit up fairly fast, and then it sat in pieces in a bag forever.   I dreaded all the tiny stitch-y seaming, but after all the holiday dinners were over, I decided to take a whole day to finish it off while watching 1g5g - this show is like my dark secret. ( Love, love, LOVE! )  All the project details are up on ravelry here.   I would totally make another if it wasn’t for all the seaming again.  Strike that.  I will definitely make another one some day, and I will use Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool again too.   It’s super soft and light.   I am barely aware that I’m wearing.

My only frustration with this sweater is that it really doesn’t look handmade.  At least not handmade by me.  I’m getting lots of surprised looks.   I’m a bit surprised myself, so I understand.

I’ve given it a lot of thought, and it’s made the shortlist of knitted items I plan to wear on Friday night for the Yarn Harlot’s visit to Cotton By Post.   I don’t believe there’s enough time to knit a lace masterpiece in time.   If you are local, and you haven’t got your ticket, what are you waiting for?  Call, email, go there . . . now!